Dear Journal:

Wow it seems as though I haven't used that phrase in like years or something. I know, I've been really shitty about updating this thing. That's mainly because I just don't have the time to do it.

Okay, the thing that is bugging me that I wanted to write really quickly about is Anton. The mother fucker is being a stupid fucking dick. He seems to think that his problems are just that - his problems. Well, in the grand scheme of things, these aren't just HIS problems, they're also everybody around him's problems because the little fucker cops an attitude everytime something pisses him off. What happens then? Well, he's ruder than a mother fucker, he doesn't listen to anybody, he refuses to cooperate, and all in all he is just an ass that I'd love to kick the shit out of. I tried telling him this tonight and all he kept saying was "You don't have the slighest clue as to what's going on inside my head." Thank fucking God because it would fucking smash the shit out of my brain if I started thinking like him. My fucking Christ!

When the fuck will he see that he's fucking everything up just because he's pissed off with moving? He can go and fuck him self if he thinks that it's only bothering him. It's making a real impact on life in general around Anton. He just doesn't care anymore. He doesn't care about anything - even dying. He's made the "I'm going to kill myself" statement to his grandparents. When questioned, he said that he "did it for more sympathy" and adamently states that he's "not going to kill [himself]." ANYBODY THAT SAYS THAT NEEDS IMMEDIATE HELP EVEN IF SAID JOKINGLY. One more fucked up thing; that's all it takes before I have the hospital take him. He under estimates my abilities and the legalities of the law. He seems to think he can over-power any one any time. Drugs? He's got a strong enough mind to over power them - even the most powerful ones such as Haldol, Thorazine, Xanax, Phenobarb etc. Here's your one and only wake up call: You can't do half of what you think you can because you just don't have that ability. If you're so damn mighty and powerful, quit pulling your fucking hair out. If you're so damn powerful, fucking DEAL with your problems; don't piss and moan about it and then tell people that you don't even talk about it. Fuck you dude! I'm saying that for EVERYONE! Your parents, your grandparents, your bosses, your co-workers, your classmates, your friends, and even the people you meet on a daily basis --- FUCK YOU. You're fucking everything up. You're making everybody miserable. And don't say it's because we're trying to "pry" into your mind and "extract [your] problems" because you and I both know that it's pure bullshit. You fucking cop an attitude then take it out on the rest of everybody around you. You've done it so many times I can't even count them all.

Further more, you're not fucking invincible. All it takes is one, tiny, minisucle, overlooked mistake before you find yourself in a world of trouble. Sarah is only 15 years old. She's jail bait bud. If her parents even suspect that you've done ANYTHING with her, you're fucked. You'll be prosecuted for statutory rape, be put into prision where fellow convicts don't treat child molesters very well, and when you get out on paroll, you'll go on the Sex Offendor Registry where ever you go. You won't be able to take a shit in your own home without people knowing that you're a fucking pedophile. And in some municipalities, you're forced to go door to door and introduce yourself to your neighbors as a registered sex offendor. Trust me: when Big Brother intervenes, you are so fucked. I can't even begin to tell you how fucked you'll be. You will ruin your life and all because you think she loves you and you love her. Don't care; it's still illegal and you'll go down for it. All it takes is one sperm and you're dead man walking. You'll burn at the stake for it. There's no other way I can tell you this. You won't listen to me when I tell you, you won't listen to your family, and fuck, you'll probably disregard this if for some God-forsaken chance you read it.

I'm done. I just fucking can't stand it anymore. Don't get me wrong, Sarah is a great person and what not, but I just won't have her around me anymore. Not with you. You've made a grave mistake by involving yourself with her. I won't go down with you. Don't tell me about it, don't bring her to my house, don't talk with her in front of me...just pretend that she's long dead and gone when you're with me. I will NOT go down for you. No way in hell. And I'm not going to cover for you. You will be fucked my friend, fucked and there's nothing anybody can do about it.