Dear Journal:

I don't know who you are or who you think you may be. However when I find out, in due time I will, I will hunt you down and crack your fuckin' teeth. I'm not playing these bullshit games anymore. I'm so sick and fuckin' tired of your petty bullshit. Jesus fuckin' Christ dude! Get a fuckin' life and stop the petty ass drama games. How fuckin' lame! Oh, here's an idea! GET A LIFE! Or "you've got one"? Say that all the fuck you want to. But in all actuality, you don't because your sitting there, in your home lookin' for people that don't want to be found by your sick, lame, retarded ass. Aren't you? Yeah, you are. Because you have not one fucking ounce of a social life because your fat, ugly, nerdy, retarded, and just a fuckin' nusiance. You're like an insect. You creep around, looking for somebody with a life in hopes of attaining one through the "friendship" you get from somebody that actually would even consider you human. And then you piss away that chance because you're too interested in yourself. And now that you can't taste the life of a good man, you must yearn for it more and more until your greed and hate and lust consumes your inner self, your heart, your soul; you. Just leave me alone. Find your own friends. Get a life. Stop looking for me. Stop devoting your every waking minute to searching me down, to looking for my every thought, feeling, or anything sentimental. I share this journal of my thoughts to the world, not you. You are not priviliged enough. You are not part of the real world. You are nothing. And just keep telling yourself that. "I am Nothing! I am Nothing! I am Nothing!" and after a few thousand times, maybe JUST maybe it'll sink in!

You see through, right to the heart of me. You break down my walls with the strength of your love. I never knew love like I've known it with you. I've never survived one I can hold on to.

I don't reall need to look very much further. I don't wanna have to go where you don't follow. I don't wanna hold this passion back inside. I can't run from myself; there's no where to hide. Your love I'll remember forever! Don't make me close what I am. I don't wanna hurt anymore. Stay in my arms if you're there. Must I imagine you there? Don't walk away from me! I have nothing, nothing... Don't make me close one of my doors. I don't wanna hurt anymore. Stay in my arms, if you're there. Must I imagine you there? Don't walk away from me! Don't walk away from me! Don't you dare! I have nothing, if I don't have you..

There's so much more to the heart than passion. I am not seeing passion anymore. It's love. Whether or not you choose to reciprocate, that's up to you. I hope it is. I want to hold you. I want to wake with you each morning, smiling. I want to smell your hair, your lotion, you! And I want it to last forever without ever ending. I want it so badly that I can taste it, yet I cannot bring myself to say those three simple words. Those words that produce such an illusion that only two people can share.

Adieu, mon amour. Pour ce soir, pour ce soir. J'ai tres amour pour tu. Tu ne comprendres jamais ce que je dis. C'est la douleur du coeur. C'est la vie.

Bon nuit! Tres bon nuit!