Dear Journal:

Hmm... Nothing really happened today. Well, actually, yeah shit happened. But nothing interesting.

Bevie and I are going to the ZOO! Yay! This will be fun. Boys, meet us there! hehe

Zackie Poo. Have a thought for you: We'll take you on. Two at a time. We'll share you. We'll love you. We'll teach you the value of TRUE, unadulterated passionate love. The stuff that the movie's talk about. Yeah, I'll die for you.... You know it's true. Everything I do.... I do it for you... Ooh, yes.

So yeah. We're sitting here listening to depressing romance music, tears welling in our eyes, thinking of the good life. Who the fuck am I kidding. Life is no good without love in your heart. We need that love. It's leaked away like sorrowful butter melting in the concoction of life.

We'll survive. Yeah, that's because we're strong people. We're more than strong. We are ULTIMATE. Yes, Bevie. You and I are ULTIMATE. Cool word, huh?

But seriously. It's a long, trechourous road of life not worth living. But seeing as though I have things that keep me going, I remain living. Kids. Bevie. My PC. God, I'm so materialisitic. Angela is there too. Always and forever. Those are the true things in life. Friends. Without them, you're fucked. Friends give you strenght. They hold you up when life lets you down. And god damn, they're just fun! I mean, c'mon y'all. It's just great when you have friends to depend on. They're like heros. They're there for you, they give you strenght, and they help you see all the truths of the world. The dirty, rotten tricks that life plays on us are felt with the loving hands of friends.

You know, I really ought so stop listening to my collection of sad romance music. It dampens my mood. It makes me realize that I don't have that one pair of loving arms there to hold me when I feel like shit. It reminds me of the good times, yes, but it really just brings back heartfelt pains. The pains that one could never discuss with the outside world. Pains that are better left treated with drugs because there is no outlet for those pains. Those pains are like viruses. They're with you for life. And unfortunately, those viruses don't kill you off like a real virus will. They live with you, killing you slowly for the rest of your morbid, unhappy lives. Dwindling in your heart, they're always there. Untreated by conventional means. Or means thought of by society because society is a sick and cruel thing. The only way to treat these pains is by filling the hole. And the only way, in my mind atleast, is to fill them with drugs. Both the good ones and the bad ones. But then again, nothing is good for you. Breathing kills you. It gives you cancer.

Life sucks. Hormones influence how much life sucks. But when you find that one person, that one individual that keeps you afloat in the endless, mindnumbing sea of life, then you know what true life is. Life is .... God, I just don't know.

I am hurting my emotions and shall continue to do so unless I end here. So I bid all you adieu. And to those of you whom are looking for love in all the wrong places, let it come to you. Shit, I should follow my own advice. But then again, it's not the best.

Good Night. God Speed. So on and so forth.