May 14, 2003

Dear Journal:

Ms. Milenkovich blatantly called me racist. How prudent! I was merely toying with her about this movie that many people must watch. She suggested that I make racial comments abroad. I’ll have you know that I do not pass judgment until I know who the person really is. If then I am offended by the person they are taken out of my life – just another chapter in the book of life.

I can’t say that I’ve never made a racial slur because doing so would put me into the liar category which is low but not nearly as low as thieves, abusers, users, rapists, murders, and worst of all...my parents. The slurs that I have made were solely directed to the intended person – who I got to know.

I may be shallow, vain, narcissistic, and self-centered, but by no way am I a racist! I have friends of all different cultures, backgrounds, and lifestyle.

Aside from the racist bit, I’ve decided to add Mr. Robert Dewitt onto my staff. He shall take care of my DNR forms as well as my living will and power of attorney. Let’s see... How many people are on my staff?

1. Dr. Paul Skoglund

2. Dr. Jay Stone

3. Dr. Gallos

4. Dr. Sweeny

5. Dr. Gaul

6. Dr. Talla

7. Dr. Gosse

8. My eye doctor (really don’t see him that often)

9. Robert Dewitt, Attorney

10. Joseph McCauley, CPA

11. Dr. J. Roberts

12. Dianne McKelvey

13. Materna & Associates L.L.C

14. Marina, LPT

15. Kevin McCauley, BF & FW

16. Valerie, Comcast Representative

17. Aron, WideOpenWest Representative

18. Ron, WideOpenWest Representative

19. Sharon, AOL Representative

20. Jon Mozzo, T-Mobile Wireless Corporation Dealer

21. Lynn, Cosmetologist & Nail Technician

I can’t think of any more at this point in time. You’re probably thinking, “Oh he’s just being a teen, lashing out irrationally” and quite possibly that the persons listed above I do not pay directly (IE: myself) or that these persons are over-embellished entities to protect a facade. With my money flowing through whatever channel it must in order to pay these people – the point is that I pay for them to care for me and provide me with adequate services that I find pleasurable.

The reason I bring the topic up is because I was reading through the new HIPPA act and found wonderful reasons to hire persons to protect my heath and assets. One can never be so sure. I want what I want and I best get what I want when I want it. The more I hear “no” the more I press on. The things I want to have done after my soul parts with my body are important to me.

Though morbid, we must think about death. It’s a process that begins right after birth. From the second you exit the womb, you start dying. Every day 1 ½ million dead skin cells fall from your body. You know how you can dust and dust and dust yet the dust still remains on those dusty surfaces? Most of that dust is the dead skin cells, along with other particles, that collect on the floors, in the carpet, on the fan etcetera etcetera. Your skin that you can see in the mirror or anywhere on your body is all dead skin. With perspiration, wind, and the organisms that feast on your dead skin cells; the dead cells are removed and replaced by the new, live skin that is finalizing its vital process and completes dying. Each day cells, the very thing you entire body is made of, in the skin, muscle, tendons, and body organs die. Whether you want them to or not – it’s just a process. A great process that one has to come to terms with, respect, and accept. A great man once said that only true geniuses think of death as not the end, but the transition point to a new, more exciting adventure.

As young as I am, I mustn’t be afraid of death. I believe in fate and destiny. A friend of mine brought up in a horrible family environment, experienced a form of fate. She was forced to deal with abuse, unjust punishment, and the abandonment of her family. To make things worse, her ability to see digressed due to a violent injury sustained while in the womb. Poor little blind girl? NO! She was taught some of the harsh realities of life yet she became a survivor. Through her fate, she was destined to become a great person, damn best friend, and someone who wants to help people. Her body and soul were sent here to Earth by a power so complex that no human being could ever comprehend. She was sent here as a kindred spirit that takes on the world in an effort to better someone’s life. Though this is her intended destiny, she will never know when she has accomplished that destiny. The person(s) that are in need of her help will find her and she will do for them what she can. But she may never know who these people will be.

As beautiful as the concept of destiny, we must face the realities of the final fate. The final fate will be determined by the powers above. Eventually the body her spirit entered must die so she can pass onto the other side. There she will receive blue prints, or instructions, for the next lifetime on Earth. She may be man or beast, but there is always a purpose for everything. Once the blue prints are finalized, her soul will soak in all of the information pertaining to the next life. When she is reborn, she will know nothing that her soul learned; through this life she will “instinctively” know what to do.

The extremely lucky will have the opportunity to understand their purpose. I have had this experience. My destiny is to help the human race medically. Yes, I can see where you might find it hypocritical that I must, through my calling, alter and pro-long the fate of others. It will allow the soul to continue to execute the plans that he or she was sent here to do. But the actual medical knowledge will help the kindred souls who’ve received a bad body to live out their destiny.

My hands have grown extremely tired. I must rest them for now, but I will continue at a later time.

Dr. Dustin T. McCauley

To Stephanie – you complete me.

To Nicki – you ease my aches and pains.

To Gram – you’ve made my life better in so many ways.

To My Mother – you showed me how life is such a bitch